remember the 5 page long script the person reading this probably skipped over? Now we have a two page script you can skip over!
Being two pages long will actually let us fit what we want to convey into the time allotted for our introduction. It also removed unnecessary things that did not fit into our plot.
Speaking of plot, this new script is centered around the plot we thought up and is a lot better because we actually knew where we were going with this one.
Without further a-do:
Although Ricardo and I cannot definitely say that this will be the final script, we don't see any reason to change it.
The putting the boxes in the closet scene is such a crucial part to the story, however, that in the final product more emphasis and care will be applied.
This script is a lot better in representing our character, along with cutting to the chase. We show exactly the character, plot, problem, everything!
I think its pretty close to perfect.
It foreshadows a lot more of the movie and is overall more feasible to film. It also is very clear how writing out the entire plot focused and improved our introduction.
One thing I may change is instead of Trevor actually using the toilet, he would just sit on it and smoke, fully clothed. This is to a) make it slightly more PG-13 and avoid awkward editing, cuts, or shots, b) keep it true to the 70s when you never saw someone without a cigarette in their mouth and c) imply that he is nervous. Since cigarettes are infamous for calming people down, Trevor smoking one would imply its not easy for him to kill. We would have to find fake cigarettes that produce real smoke, though. No smoking allowed.
See you next time!
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